I have often thought that if we knew why a person acted a certain way, it would help us in finding solutions and aid to help us repent or improving interpersonal relationships. Lying is an example of this, and because it so prevalent, we could learn how to deal with it better if we understood why a person lies.Â
The first fact that we must all recognize is that nearly everyone tells what Paul Ekman calls “low-stake lies.” Occasions of flattery and compliments, when expected to be polite and courteous, are common. Telling someone we feel fine when asked how we are doing is so common that few put too much stock in how the question is answered.  You may be the exception, but most of us lie to some extent and the best thing that can happen is to embrace this fact.  Self-deception and lying to ourselves is just as much a lie as lying to others.
The second fact about lying is that most of us define sin in such a way that preserves moral standards and our perception of being a good person. Yet, we may have a slightly different definition than others. High stake lies are the lies of the criminal, terrorist, embezzler, and thief. The illustration of sexual sin is similar to lying. We may never want to across the line by sleeping with another person than our spouse, but feel no guilt to look at a woman lustfully. In other words, we would reject an invitation from the very person that we looked at lustfully.  While this appears to be inconsistent, it explains that we rationalize our actions to maintain the sense that we are good.  We are not the bad guys. In the case of lying, it is defined and practiced according to how we view ourselves. Research shows that human beings struggle with two conflicting impulses — the desire to improve our situations and the desire to think of ourselves as a good person. In order to eliminate the conflict by improving our situation and maintaining a good conscience ( no one wants to think of themselves as a liar), we cross the line ever so slightly.  We each have our own limit. A good example to show how we place limits on ourselves is when a homeowner tells a trick or treater to take just one piece of candy. A few will take one. Most will take two because it is just one more than the rule. They get a little extra without feeling too bad about it. Others will take three, especially if they can reason that the extra is for their baby sister. Occasionally, a child will attempt to take the entire bowl to dump in their bag.