Once again, individual accountability is the focus of this series. Ephesians 6 tells children to obey their parents in the Lord and honor them. Being addressed to children, Paul did not write this for parents. Nor were there any conditions attached to this command. With the exception of parents requesting children to do what is sinful, children have no recourse but to honor their parents and obey them.
Once again, children cannot excuse their disobedience because the parents are unreasonable, temperamental, or wrong. In verse two, he tells fathers not to exasperate their children. Other translations read, “Do not provoke them to wrath.” In contrast, he adds, “But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” These are the words addressed to fathers. Neither one is to excuse their behavior based on the failure of the other. Yet, this is often the response and both justify themselves because of the other’s behavior. “Well, if you would show me a little respect around here, I wouldn’t lose my temper.” “He’ll have to deserve my respect before I give it to him.” Of course, the complaints go on, and the feelings of resentfulness and bitterness linger until all communication is lost.
The Fathers are ultimately responsible to reset their course by humbly demonstrating the proper response to sin and placing both the child and the Father under the authority of God. Bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is key, here. It isn’t about showing who is boss. It’s about sharing heaven’s will by the study of the Word and being an example for the children. While there may be a need on rare occasions to remind children that they are under the care and authority of their parents, parents restore the respect and honor of children when they look to God and His authority and wisdom. An illustration of this is seen when a parent is legitimately asked the reason for their decision and say, “Because I said so.” This leaves the wrong message and elevates the father over the child but this authority is short-lived as the child grows older and becomes embittered.
If we will commit to doing the right thing as a practice of life, it will produce the results for which we desire in time. That’s the wonderful thing about the Scriptures. The principles of truth are timeless nuggets of wisdom that when followed will encourage the proper behavior of others.